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The Sinner's Corner: all things vagina |
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Written by Christine Stanley/Tahoe World
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Tuesday, 06 February 2007 |
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 Hello all, and welcome again to the Sinners Corner. In line with this week’s vagina theme, we will be discussing all things vagina.
Vagina’s like to talk. Yea, big surprise there. I actually dated a guy in college who would yell “Shut up Vagina!” at irritating women. Not the most respectful outburst, but often comical nonetheless. Vaginas like to talk so much that this weekend there’s going to be a dozen of them yammering on and on about multiple orgasms, hot lesbians and battery operated boyfriends on stage. If you show up to the Vagina Monologues I’ll sign your … Playbill. Don’t miss it, especially since there is going to be an after party at the CBC, and we all know that there will be plenty of vaginas there.
Of course, your vagina might not like it if I sign your Playbill. So to make it up to her, on Valentines Day you should surprise her with one of the following:
• An OhMiBod music vibrator. See ohmibod.com for more.
• A bikini wax and tickets to Mexico
• A new bra and panties set. Not red, or a thong or pleather. In fact, if you are not a seasoned lingerie veteran, don’t buy anything without consulting the sales girls.
• A couples massage
• Diamonds
And now some things you didn’t need to know about vaginas:
• The female blue whale has an average vagina length of six to eight feet.
• The longest human clitoris was measured at 4.1 inches. And her boyfriend still couldn’t get her off.
• There are about 1,000 recognized slang words for the vagina. In fact, in my Religion and Sexuality class in college, we had to come up with as many as we could, and then categorize them under food, weapons and animals.
• Some African tribes stretch their labias to 7 inches in length.
• It is ancient legend that Cleopatra of the Nile had two orgasms a day and manufactured her diaphragm out of cow dung.
I’ll just leave you with that image and hope that you are brave enough to still show up for the Vagina Monologues this weekend. If you haven’t seen them, they’re great, so don’t miss it.
Later,
Christine
The Sinners Corner is interactive, oh yes it is. Send your dating questions, comments, theories and general funny stories to
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Photo: Christine Stanley taking part in rehearsals for the Vagina Monologues.
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Should I go night skiing instead?
Written by GatorsFan on 2007-02-07 09:24:07
You say that there'll be lots of vaginas there. What I need to know is: Will they all be "Look, but don't touch?" If so, wouldn't I be better off night skiing at Squaw?
Also, if they're going to be doing a lot of monologuing, will beer be served? I mean, if I have to listen to them yada-yada-yada all night long, don't I deserve a beer (or three)?
Finally, can you assure us that no blue whales will be there? I'd hate to run into the one I'm sure I hooked up with at Dollar Point a few years ago.
Just curious. |
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