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Welcome to the Sinner's Corner |
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Written by Paul Raymore
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Tuesday, 23 January 2007 |
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Welcome to the Sinner’s Corner, as my column has now been officially titled. This week, we’re getting interactive with a quiz to test how dating savvy you are, so grab a pen and let’s see how you do...
1. While on a date it is important to:
a) E-nun-ci-ate
b) hold a two-way conversation
c) chew with your mouth closed
d) all of the above, Casanova
2. Dressing for a date does NOT include which of the following:
a) slippers
b) sweat pants
c) a micro mini and Ugg boots
d) all of the above
3. When you arrive at a date, you should bring:
a) a lift ticket
b) beer goggles
c) money
d) a and c
4. On a dinner date, you should take your partner to:
a) Dragonfly
b) Round Table Pizza
c) your refrigerator
d) Wait, I have to feed it too?
5. My idea of a fun little surprise for someone I'm dating is:
a) the clap
b) my baby’s mama
c) opening the car door
d) vomiting
6. If I'm on a date with someone I'm romantically interested in, my first physical move is usually:
a) to stare at her boobs
b) to give wet willies
c) a light touch to the hand
d) the crotch grab
7. In order to avoid getting an STD, you should find your date at:
a) Truckee Elementary
b) The Cadillac Ball
c) The Squaw Valley hostel
d) Zenbu
8. On a first date, what do you NOT want to talk about
a) what a bitch your ex was
b) how hammered you got the last time you came here
c) how you forgot your wallet
d) all of the above
9. At which point do you expect sex
a) When I pick her up
b) I have to pick her up?
c) After the first date
d) When she says so
10. At the end of a date, the best way to tell someone you're interested is to:
a) high five
b) stay the night
c) call in three days and ask them out again
d) b or c, depending on your definition of “interested”
Answers:
1. D - I cannot tell you how sick I am of people who either don’t have table manners or don’t respect themselves enough to use the ones they’ve got. Have a little class.
2. D - Did you think this was a trick question? If you read Sierra’s fashion column, you would know better than the Ugg and Mini faux pas.
3. D - Beer goggles are meant for nights when you’re not on a date.
4. A - Delicious cuisine and occasional two-for-one specials make Dragonfly your best bet. We also like Jake’s, Lanza’s and Cottonwood.
5. C - I don’t care what anyone else tells you, opening car doors never goes out of style.
6. C - There is a time and a place for ogling boobies and grabbing crotch, and it comes AFTER you have been welcomed into someone’s personal space.
7. B - While the children at Truckee Elementary are probably disease free, the legality is a little iffy, so choosing an adult at a community event is probably a better bet.
8. D - maybe your ex wouldn’t have been such a bitch if you weren’t out getting hammered all the time.
9. D - If you wait for her to initiate, then you might end up getting laid for more than just one night.
10. D - High fives are best reserved for the dates you don’t want to see again.
If you scored:
• 5 correct or fewer: You suck at life and should obviously start reading my column on a more consistent basis.
• 6 to 8 correct: You have a lot to learn, but you’re not a hopeless cause and keeping up with the wisdom of the Sinner’s Corner will surely benefit your social life.
• 9 to 10 correct: Send me a photo and contact info so that I can add you to our list of eligible singles. I give the info out only to other people also on the list.
I can’t keep coming up with clever fodder all on my own, so please do us all a favor and send your dating questions, comments, theories and general funny stories to
This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it
Thanks y’all!
Christine
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