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Pathetic as it may be, celebrities are my friends |
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Written by Joanna Hartman/Tahoe World
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Friday, 24 November 2006 |
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The staff at the Sierra Sun have heard loud and clear that most of our readers don’t want to see even the brief Associated Press review of celebrity happenings among out local pages. But I’m not entirely willing to let the famous off the hook. Britney and Kevin’s divorce is big news to me, after all. And as a reporter, I feel I’m in a position to deem what I see newsworthy.
More importantly in recent headlines, is the demise of storybook romance between American sweethearts, Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe. What’s that movie “A Seven Year Itch” about anyway? How many years even the perfect take to divorce? Highly scientific studies have shown that seven years is a common milestone for divorce - it’s a make-it-or-break-it time. But really, I thoughe Reese and Ryan were immune to the problems of us peons.
In other news, Anna Nicole Smith, the poster child for junk-show-turned-fat-turned- diet-pill-spokesperson-and-got-Playboy-hot-again, is still mourning the loss of her son, a seriously suspicious death. Of more concern, who’s her new baby’s daddy?
And as a mainstay, a staple, a legend even, George Clooney has been awarded the title of “Sexiest Man Alive,” yet again. Brad Pitt has expressed some faux jealousy at having not been a third-time winner, but the Ocean’s (Insert Number Here) costar still graced the pages of the new People somewhere in the top ten or so.
And though I’m no sports fan (admittedly, I can never even remember how many points a touchdown is worth). But Simpson, O.J. that is, has made it onto my radar. Not for his former skills as a footballer - tackles, catches and whatnot - but because he’ll be in a show to air next week called “If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened.” I know there are those double jeopardy laws and all, but really, shouldn’t we make an example of him? You can view his hypothestical confession on Fox on Nov. 27 and 29.
And on a less proud front, the finale of the third season of Laguna Beach leaves me high and dry, craving more hookups, breakups, catty girlfights, $2,000 prom dresses and just the good ole teen drama.
I know there are others out there, like me, that simply can’t afford their addiction to US Weekly, People Magazine and even Star. And though opinionated rants on celebrity haves and have-nots mean nothing in the larger scheme of things, they certainly tide me over until meeting with Hef, aka “Puffin,” next week with The Girls Next Door.
For other gossip hounds, check out the addictive Web site of the century written by the ever-hilarious, critical, anonymous author on www.thesuperficial.com - “The Superficial, because you’re ugly.”
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Last Updated ( Tuesday, 21 November 2006 )
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