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The Adventure Girl's dating tips for guys |
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Written by Megan Michelson/special to the World
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Tuesday, 18 September 2007 |
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Dear Gentleman,
It’s that time of year again. The leaves are turning golden yellow, ski movie premiers are making the rounds in a theater near you, and you’re facing yet another cold winter as a single guy in Tahoe. Join the club.
Unless a group of Brazilian lifities moves in next door, your chances of finding a girl to share the covers with this winter are, at best, one in ten. The odds of snagging a girl who’s single, smart, sweet, and doesn’t have a gambling addiction is about one in 100. And your chances of meeting a girl with all those qualities who can also rip lines down the Palisades at Squaw? One in a million.
To steal a line from Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber, "I’m saying you have a chance."
 But you need all the help you can get. Which is what I’m about to offer. Listen closely.
— Don’t ask for her number when you’re delivering a pizza to her condo.
— Ditto for when she picks you up hitchhiking.
— If you’re a bad skier, sign up for lessons. Then fake an ACL tear when she asks you to join her on the mountain.
— If you’re a good skier, don’t try to teach her a single thing. Unless you’re a ski instructor and she happens to be your client.
— If you’re a pro skier, you already have three other girlfriends, so please leave this one alone.
— A bite of your stale Cliff Bar on the chairlift won’t impress her. A bag of chocolate covered espresso beans will.
— Work in a shop? Offer her a discounted rate to tune her snowboard. Then throw in a free t-shirt. Girls love swag.
 — Get a physical address, preferably not with five other dudes.
— Carry your skis properly. Please. Yeah, tips forward.
— Don’t let her see you scalping lift tickets in the parking lot. Do let her see you offering to carry an old woman’s skis up to the chairlift.
— Swap the Carharts for khakis if you’re going out for a dinner that costs more than 15 dollars per plate.
— On occasion, take her out for a dinner that costs more 15 dollars per plate.
— Wearing brand new North Face apparel from head to toe will make you look like a weekend warrior. Wearing worn leather gloves from the hardwear store and a duct taped puffy jacket will make you look like a local.
— If you’re going backcountry skiing with her, pack a thermos of hot chocolate. Bonus points for a flask of Grand Marnier.
— Avoid driving around town with skis on your car if you’re not actually heading to the mountain. It makes you look pathetic.
— Try to have a conversation with her that doesn’t include the words siiiick, dude, or precipitation.
— Remove your stinky boot liners from your Subaru before you pick her up for a date.
— Shower on occasion. With soap.
— If she lets you buy her a drink at the bar, don’t assume she wants a PBR. And don’t gasp when she asks for an $8 glass of wine.
 — There’s no greater turnoff than a guy without four-wheel drive. The only exception: If you own a hybrid. If you drive a four-wheel drive hybrid, that’s downright sexy.
— Long, shaggy hair can be hot if you’re in your twenties. But thirty or older, get a darn haircut already.
Megan Michelson is an editor at Skiing magazine. She lives in Boulder, Colo., where the number of guys to girls is refreshingly even.
Photos: The guy-to-girl ratio can be tough out there, but once you find that perfect girl, it's all neon and double fisting.
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Last Updated ( Tuesday, 18 September 2007 )
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